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Here are the top 10 Theo Von Quotes: Table of Contents Theo Von's Unique Perspective The Power of Laughter Life Lessons from Theo Von Observations on Humanity Life's Ups and Downs FAQs About Theo Von Quotes Conclusion Read More Theo Von's Unique Perspective Theo Von has a knack for turning everyday experiences into hilarious anecdotes.

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The most thought-provoking Theo Von quotes that are Hilarious and Thought-Provoking. Following is a list of the best quotes, including various Theo Von inspirational quotes, and other famous sayings by Theo Von. Your toes are like ten small little Floridas just hanging off your body.

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Theo Von Quotes - BrainyQuote When I see somebody in a Prius, sure, you drive a Prius and you get good gas mileage, but you probably feel like you drive a Prius. Theo Von I could have been a dancer. I just never got my shot at it. Theo Von If I could have anything, I would probably get an old Ford F-150 from the '70s. Theo Von

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FAVORITE TheoVon quotes? Where do I begin? Here is some off the top: My neighbor used to have a furcoat in the yard and dogs would come over and f*ck it Short and ugly? You gut dat double. I look like Tom Brady and Shrek Looking at Brad Pitt I used to work in a door. store Ever fuckin' eat Dove, bruh? Sort by: Add a Comment steezaleeze21

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"I know where honey comes from…. from trees brother." "I look like Tom Brady and Shrek" "I never wanted to be a fish man, my whole life" (on Joe Rogan's podcast, had Jamie laughing too) "I was so hungry, I could hear a piece of bread fold from 80 feet away" "I wish I had white privilege. Sign me up.

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Get ready for non-stop laughter with this hilarious compilation featuring the one and only Theo Von! Brace yourself for a rollercoaster ride of comedic brill.

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"I'm not a pessimist, I'm just a realist with a sense of humor." Theo Von's Quotes on Life and Love Theo Von's quotes are not just funny, but also insightful. Here are some of his quotes on life and love: "Life is too short to be anything but happy." "Love is the only thing that can make you feel better when you're feeling down."

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Best 79 Quotes by Theo Von - Page 2 of 3. "If a Chinese flight crashed into a pineapple stand and everybody lived and started a community, that's Polynesian.". Theo Von. "If God didn't want a women to cook he wouldn't have put milk and eggs in her body.". Theo Von. "If I could have anything, I would probably get an old Ford F-150.

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Best 79 Quotes by Theo Von - Page 1 of 3 "A bridge is just a road that's brave as f*ck." Theo Von "A hat is just like a tiny apartment for your head." Theo Von "A plate is just a spread out cup." Theo Von "A PT Cruiser is like a hearse for midgets." Theo Von "A reindeer is just a gay moose." Theo Von "Anything could happen when you're daydrinking.

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"Take a sandwich! You can eat by the cages." "99% of the time, this don't end hetro-sexually." "We were all semen, look how far we've come." "They're just jokes, people. They can't all be funny." "Everything tastes like eggs. Theo Von, No Offense." "I could have been a dancer. I just never got my shot at it."

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1. "Life is like a game of chess, except I don't know how to play chess, so it's more like Hungry Hungry Hippos." 2. "I'm trying to get in shape, but it's hard. The only thing I've mastered is the art of opening a bag of chips quietly." 3. "I once tried to do yoga, but my body was like, 'Nah, we don't bend that way.'" 4.

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Top 9 Quotes & Sayings by Theo Von Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Theo Von. Last updated on November 20, 2023. Theodor Capitani von Kurnatowski, known professionally as Theo Von, is an American stand-up comedian, podcaster, television personality, YouTuber, and actor.

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1. Theo Von is a comedian known for his unique style of storytelling and self-deprecating humor. However, many may be surprised to know that he was once a small-time criminal and struggled with addiction before turning his life around. 2. Despite his edgy and sometimes controversial comedic style, Theo Von is an incredibly charitable person.

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1. stiffspacebar • 1 mo. ago. "you could give this guy a mouthful of milk and 2 hours later it still ain't all down" in regards to a slow person. Or "mental" as he likes to say. 1. stiffspacebar • 1 mo. ago. He said some guy "drove around the neighborhood and picked all the kids up with a school bus. Never took em to school.

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Theo Von Quotes ShortQuotes.cc

Explore a collection of witty and thought-provoking quotes by the popular comedian Theo Von. Discover his unique perspective on life, love, and laughter through these insightful and hilarious quotes. Get inspired and entertained by Theo Von's words of wisdom.